In brief defense of the self-named jersey

Bill Simmons is, as we all know, one of my favorite sportswriters because he writes from a fan's perspective. Sportswriters always wrote with opinion, but many of them seemed to do so from this oddly lofty perch above the casual fan; Simmons is, by and large, down there in the trenches. (In fact, this metaphor is literal; a good portion of sportswriters sit in the sanctity of the press box, where Simmons will sit in the stands.)

In Friday's mailbag, he said the following:

You only have eight responsibilities during a baseball game: Take your hat off for the National Anthem; don't take your shirt off; don't bring your baseball glove if you're over 13; don't wear a jersey with your own name on it; don't run onto the field; don't reach into the field of play to grab a pop-up or ground ball if it could adversely affect your team; don't boo one of your own players unless it's absolutely warranted; and don't throw up. That's it. Everything else is up to you.

By and large, I agree with seven of those; for that matter, I agree with #6 but I don't really think that fans should be reaching onto the field for balls whether the effect on the team is adverse or not (see: Maier, Jeffrey). (And for the record, this does not include poor Steve Bartman, who was fully within the stands.)

But #4 bugs me. As many of you may know, I own an authentic Cubs jersey with the number 29 and the name "Flaxman" squarely on the back of it. And frankly, I don't see the big deal. So here's a quick three-reason list why there's nothing wrong with your own name on a jersey.

1. Better than having the name of a guy who gets traded or flames out. Simmons himself owns a Patriots jersey with the name "Simmons" on the back from when they had a wide receiver named Tony Simmons. Pretty gray area, if you ask me - you can't tell me he bought that for any other reason than it was his name, so what's the real difference between just putting his name on it? Except that since Tony Simmons did nothing with the Patriots, he just has to feel silly. The other day I saw a guy wearing a Garciaparra #5 Cubs jersey. You're going to tell me that a jersey with my name is worse than continuing to wear a jersey of a guy who played for the Cubs for barely over a year and was injured for most of that? At least my jersey won't ever become obsolete.

2. No worries about jinxing anyone. I contemplated shelling out for a Maddux 31 jersey, since the guy has had a great enough career that I shouldn't have to worry about it becoming a total footnote within a year or two, even if he does finish his career elsewhere. But what if I get that and he suddenly goes into the tank?

3. The "tenth man." Fan support plays a role in the fortunes of a team, like it or not. A jersey with my name is just another way of identifying myself with the Cubs as a fan of theirs. Again, what is really so wrong with that?

There are probably counter-arguments here - I could get a retired player's jersey like Grace to counteract 1 and 2, and some would presumably argue that a replica jersey with no name at all is just as good for showing support. But I don't think these totally negate the idea that having one's name on a jersey could have some merit. Certainly it keeps me from having to buy multiple jerseys of whoever my current favorite player is - if I'd had to do that over the years, I'd be stuck with a half-dozen Cubs jerseys right now, the bulk of which there'd be no point in wearing.

So that's what I think. If you agree with Simmons, see if you can give me a good reason why; I'm not sure he's ever adequately explained what's so horrible about it for him.