New TV season, addendum

Just after I didn't watch the season premiere of CSI so that Alma and I could watch it together tomorrow night, I watched the premiere of Criminal Minds. Last year I attempted to get into Numb3rs because it featured actors I like and one of my favorite character types, the super-genius, but I got bored pretty fast. Criminal Minds seems to do a bit better - you've got Mandy Patinkin in the lead as a smart-guy profiler who's recovering from a traumatic incident where six agents were killed in his attempt to bring in a killer, and veteran sitcom straight-man Thomas Gibson as... well, kind of a straight-man in the midst of the other characters. They're basically the leads, and then you've got the mega-super-genius - the twenty-something multi-degree doctor who knows everything (totally cool) but is socially awkward (slightly less cool). Lastly, there's the guy who played the dippy "other man" in the execrable Diary of a Mad Black Woman, playing another... kind of straight-arrow agent.

Anyway, it was fairly formula; you know how these things are. No matter how smart the serial killer is, his computer password is somehow guessable by looking through his personal items; the first suspect is pretty much never the guilty one; the one person who can help crack the case always divulges information at the exact right moment. But it was still okay. CBS might have had another viewer if they had not announced the show's regular time slot as... ta-da, Wednesday at 9/8 Central! Oh, CBS. Such a bad, bad idea. I mean, I know they had to put the show somewhere, but not there, not for this one. Either legitimately attempt to compete with a runaway hit by counterprogramming it with Survivor: Wherever the Fuck, or just give up and run nature documentaries. Don't put on a show that appeals to probably half the same demographic of Lost but has no hope of stealing any of them. You could have left it after CSI and it would have killed in that slot! With that lead-in and a similar theme? Look what that did for Without a Trace. (Which actually premiered last week and returns to the Thursday 10/9 next week.) I know what they were trying to do - whet the appetite for Criminal Minds now, then hope everyone comes back instead of watching Lost. Ain't happenin'.

Especially not when the ending was so weird. Mandy Patinkin, having saved the day but ruing the fact that there's always another killer to catch, goes into some gas station in rural Virginia, and notices that the cashier has dozens of Polaroids of people's faces pinned up behind him and a serious speech impediment. Then as Patinkin leaves, the guy follows him out and aims a gun at his head, which Patinkin notices in a mirror... and bam! Go to credits! Now, I know Mandy Patinkin isn't dying. I saw him in the clips of next week's show. So this isn't a cliffhanger - because there's no way he can get out of it, and he's not dying, which means - you guessed it - he's imagining it. How much of it, who knows. Possibly the whole thing. I mean, regular at that station was going for under two dollars - clearly the whole scene took place in Bizarro World. I'm sure it was meant to drive home his curse of seeing serial killers everywhere, or whatever. But it was just pretty corny. If there's one thing about Criminal Minds itself that utterly, coffin-nailingly guaranteed I'll be watching Lost next week, that was it.

Anyway. Okay show, unfortunate time slot. Although opposite E-Ring and Nanny 911, Criminal Minds could well finish second in that space (no one dared challenge Lost, clearly). So I guess it's just an unfortunate time slot for me, as I wouldn't have minded giving it a couple more views. And yes, I could watch Lost live and TiVo Criminal Minds, but Lost is not coming off the TiVo in case I'm elsewhere for some reason and is probably the kind of show you wouldn't mind seeing a couple times anyway. So, sorry, Mandy. You came and you gave without taking, but I'm sending you away.