Problem is, a lot of these assholes are dumbasses

You may have heard by now of the follow-up to the Pat and Sheena Wheaton story - the couple from New Zealand who wanted to name their baby "4Real," as dissected in this post. Well, good news! They're not going to get to name the kid 4Real. What's that? They're... they're doing something even worse?

Pat and Sheena Wheaton say they will get around the decision by the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages by officially naming their son Superman but referring to him as 4Real, the New Zealand Herald newspaper has reported.

You know, if you're just going to fuck this kid over by calling him 4Real no matter what the government lets you name him, you'd think you could at least pick a normal name to put on the birth certificate, just on the off chance that he thinks "4Real" is a stupid fucking name. Although with you two asshats for parents, who knows what kind of genius this kid will turn into. I'm thinking a time-traveler who cures cancer and AIDS in the same weekend. The genetic makeup is that flawless.

Seriously, "Superman?" It just sounds like they're bitter and think they're putting one over on the government by choosing an even stupider name. (Yes, it's stupider than 4Real. I went there. You heard me, Nicolas Cage?) It's like they don't even realize that a baby is actually a small person that eventually grows up and will be saddled with the stupid-ass name you gave him until he's 18. The government isn't going to have to live with your shit, guys; your son will. Really, what's the over/under on this couple's combined age? 39.5? If the answer is over, I'm officially horrified. Well, more horrified. 39.5 is also the over/under on the number of weekly playground beatings this kid can expect starting at age 6 or so. I'll take the over.