Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.When my sister was eight, she got a hamster from the pet store. Because he scratched at the box he was in on the car ride home, she decided to name him "Scratchy." Even my literal-minded eight-year-old sister would have told you "4real" was a stupid name for a baby.
But when the parents filed the name with New Zealand's Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, they were told names beginning with a number were against the rules.Especially names beginning with the combined IQ of the parents, which is considered private information in New Zealand.
"For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," Pat Wheaton told TV One on Wednesday. "With this name, everyone knows what it means."Yeah. For the rest of this kid's life, everyone will know what his name means: that he is, actually, a person! Thank God you came to your senses before naming the kid "Android McFakeBaby."
There's only one thing people are going to know about this kid based on his name: that he had parents who were stupid fuckheads. A good rule of thumb for baby names: if it sounds like something your six-year-old cousin might name his new pet turtle, don't fucking name your kid that. These people have to be 19, because much older and I hope they'd realize that babies eventually turn into adult humans, and once they do, it kind of sucks for them to have a name that looks like it was pulled at random from the text message inbox on their mom's cell phone.
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