You mean coitus?

So I assume many of you will at least have heard of this online clothing site, Bluefly.com. Their big thing is designer brands on the cheap, I guess (or cheaper, anyway), and recently they appear actually to be making ads for television broadcast. But honestly, I don't know how much play ads like this are going to get:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSCoYi_tGRc (for the record, I would avoid watching this or anything below at work)

I mean, really? I'm as much a fan of taking clothes off as the next red-blooded guy, but this was made for television broadcast? The insane part is that this is the 90-second version, and of course we rarely see commercials that long. So maybe this wasn't intended for TV broadcast so much. But the 30-second version, which cuts through all the fooforah, hardly dispenses with the all-but-nudity.

And then there's the 15-second version. At this level the plot is barely even comprehensible - the whole point behind "What did you think I was going to wear to work today?" is lost. In 15 seconds the ad is pretty much just "Bluefly.com - The perfect post-fucking attire for the modern woman." (Of course, that could easily be the slogan at the end of the 30 and 90 spots, too.) For that matter, it almost plays like an ad for an escort service.

This sort of ad is evidently nothing new for Bluefly; consider this 2005 spot which I can only presume was Internet-only. And then, after I commented to Alma, Drew and Karen that the only way the original ad could be more soft-core pornographic was with thrusting and actual nudity, I ran across this one, which gets pretty much halfway there. This was the "uncut" version and never was supposed to hit TV, but compare it to the 30-second version - was there really that much of a difference?

Sex sells and we all know it, but I can't be alone in feeling like these ads are getting precariously close to the line of what it makes sense to have on TV. Even more so, though, I just hate the tagline on that last one. "Turn every head in the place, even if you never make it to the place?" What? So I should spend a bunch of cash on clothes that I'm only going to wear long enough for my amorous spouse to take them right back off? Money well spent! This could easily have been an ad for Viagra, and frankly it makes a lot more sense that way.

I fully expect the next Bluefly commercial just to be a 30-second clip from a porno movie, and right as they hit the money shot, the announcer comes in: "Bluefly.com. Apparently we sell clothing."