Study: America Ready for Football

NEW YORK (AP): A landmark research study conducted by the sports network ESPN has finally confirmed what previously was only suspected: America is, unquestionably, ready for some football.

The study, a survey of more than 80,000 visitors to the ESPN.com website, found that not only is America ready for some football, but that we are overwhelmingly ready as a nation. Fully 87% of voters polled described themselves as "ready for some football," compared to just 13% who said they were not ready, a ratio of nearly seven to one.

The poll was conducted in conjunction with ESPN's launch of their new Monday Night Football telecast, taken over from ABC after the end of last season. Operating under the assumption that Americans were ready for some football, ESPN and the NFL decided to broadcast two games back-to-back on the opening Monday, a rare occurrence.

"We suspected all along that the people of this country were ready for some football," said Mike Tirico, the play-by-play announcer for ESPN's coverage. "We were, however, surprised and delighted at just how ready they were."

Not a single state in the union was not ready for football, though some were better prepared than others. Leading all states in football readiness were North and South Dakota, each with 92% of their voting populations declaring that they were adequately prepared for football. Lagging behind the pack was Wyoming, whose voters were a pathetic 80% ready. Reached for comment, Wyoming senator Craig Thomas said that the results were "in no way representative of our great state's readiness for football." Thomas pointed to the low voter turnout and speculated that a large percentage of people in the state who were, in fact, ready for football were simply not signed on to the internet at the time of the poll. "[They were] probably outside, getting ready for football by doing other manly things like barbecuing or playing football themselves," Thomas added.

In order to accurately measure the true readiness for football, ESPN plans a postgame poll with the question, "Were you ready for some football?" Analysts say they expect the number to drop slightly in the wake of a lackluster Redskins-Vikings tilt.

(Multimedia: View America's football readiness prior to Monday night's games.)