And now the reason why nobody shows up

Inspired by what I'm sure was an offhand comment from Greg in Craig's comments, prepare to be bored to tears by the large-part-of-the-audience-isolating Cheat Commandos Tournament.

Round One

#1 Gunhaver
vs.
#16 Mrs. Commanderson

Gunhaver gets the nod at #1 seed for being the leader of the commandos. Mrs. Commanderson is at #16 because she has never actually appeared in a Cheat Commandos cartoon, but rather appears with them in a Teen Girl Squad easter egg. But I needed a 16th spot.

#8 Foxface
vs.
#9 Flashfight

Foxface is the group's lone female, and Flashfight's array of medals suggests that he is the leader of the outfit... but neither has ever really been seen outside of their action figures, unless you count the time Reynold put his glasses on a mop and imagined it was Foxface asking him out.

#4 Silent Rip
vs.
#13 Blue Laser Minion #2

Which of the Blue Laser minions is this? Well, in the one episode where it's reasonably easy to tell them apart, I guess you'd say he was the one who appeared second, telling Fightgar "I never doubted you were a lady, sir." Silent Rip is the Commando with the headset, played by Homestar Runner when we first see the toys, and also the first Commando to speak in a cartoon ("Those loonies are gonna blow up the ocean!"). Plus, his name kinda sounds like a fart joke.

#5 Reynold
vs.
#12 Blue Laser Minion #1

Blue Laser Minion #1 is honest enough to admit that he looks exactly like Blue Laser Minion #2. Reynold has his own playset (his apartment), but he's also pretty embarrassing, and gets tricked into leaving the rest of the group alone in "Commandos in the Classroom."

#6 Crackotage
vs.
#11 Blue Laser Commander

Crackotage is that guy who flies that plane, and makes all the terrible rhyming jokes. Blue Laser Commander might do better at crushing the Cheat Commandos if not for all his (?) strange missteps, including cleaning the bathroom and relocating the Blue Laser base to his grandmother's yard (where he has his minions prepare hamburgers).

#3 Fightgar
vs.
#14 Ser-g-geant Marshie

A conflict in the field of breakfast cereal. Ser-g-geant Marshie appears only to have shown up on the Cheat Commandos show as a tie-in to the Cheat Commandos O's cereal, which features Fluffy Puff marshmallows, and even then, Gunhaver thinks he's a flying cotton ball. Fightgar is good with old lady disguises and wearing ammunition, but he's also the only one who thinks to point out - and does so right on the box - that "these aren't O's!" Fightgar also gets blown up for imagining the Blue Laser minions as slices of pizza during Commandos in the Classroom, one of that cartoon's biggest laughs.

#7 Reinforcements
vs.
#10 Ripberger

Poor Coach Z. He's the one who bought the Reinforcements action figure, and then the guy never shows up again - except late in Commandos in the Classroom, when he gets his only real line: "Hey guys." He is the owner of the Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket, though it has primarily been seen being misused by Reynold in "Shopping for Danger." Still, he's better off than Ripberger, the one who looks like a ninja except that his outfit is all red, who hasn't shown up at all.

#2 Firebert
vs.
#15 Blue Laser Babies

There's not much to say about the Twins, who have one scene and one line each ("oo-waah"). Firebert was the original Cheat Commando, as the Cheat dressed up in the Strong Bad e-mail "army" and insisted that Strong Bad call him "Firebert." However, as both Strong Bad and Gunhaver have pointed out, Firebert isn't a good commando name.

Vote in the comments widget below by 6 pm CDT Monday! Results will be posted Monday night.